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Best of Mark Pilarski
Bring your kids — sort of6 October 2000
As a result of continual complaints from tourists like you, Clifford, the Clark County Commission recently approved a ban on the passing out of handbills in Las Vegas. The ban is targeted primarily at the aggressive peddlers (smutters) on the Las Vegas Strip who force-feed fliers, most of which contain sexually explicit ads for call girl services, on unwilling tourists as they stroll by. The ban also affects businesses that hand out ads in front of their stores along the Strip.
Those needing their carnal obsessions attended to in Sin City will still find arousal circulars at newspaper stands — which are exempt, as are non-commercial enterprises.
By the way, Clifford, since when is Las Vegas for those in their right mind?
Oh yeah, Sandra. Drive over to one of the 34 wedding chapels in Vegas and get married. Marriage today is statistically a fifty/fifty proposition that you'll end up divorced. And if you divorce rich — jackpot. There's your even money bet.
The best way to acquire gaming skills
without the expense of a live game is with a computer. In many ways a
computer can be far superior to a human instructor for both training and
drilling. The benefit of computer training is the ability to test card
counting strategies along with money-management progressive win formulas
at no financial risk, even with simulated high speed play. Whether at
high speeds or a live game pace, computers accumulate data for later
review. This will enable you to spot costly trends that you might be
making on a video poker machine or blackjack table. Information like
this would take you years to accumulate dealing hand after hand on your
kitchen table. And again, the key here is that any knowledge obtained
without a casino outlay will make you more money down the road.
If you don't have a computer, you can still create a Las Vegas experience with a handheld video game. I've seen these small hand-held computer games at WalMart's as inexpensively as $5. I prefer the games made by a company called Radica. The screen is easy to read and the batteries last — well, I've never changed them yet. Along with a basic strategy card, you'll sharpen your playing skills and be an expert in no time.
Take counsel, Sally, most gamblers devise a clever scheme to keep the casinos at bay, but like Penelope, wife of Odysseus, they spend all day weaving a tapestry of words and all night unraveling it.
Best of Mark Pilarski